Title: Two Toshizou (ふたりの歳三)
Characters: Hijikata Toshizou, Okita Souji, Saitou Hajime, Nagakura Shinpachi.
This is a bonus drama CD for preordering Hakuouki Zuisouroku at Gamers or Alice Net.
To listen to this track, link here. (It's the 3rd track on this page.)
Please don't copy-paste the translation elsewhere! Linking to this page is okay.
Note about names:
Usually Japanese address each other by family name. First names are only used when 1) a person of higher rank (or older) addresses someone of lower rank (or younger) ; 2) among good friends.
Addressing people by their first name without their permission is very rude.
Knowing how much Saitou admires Hijikata, it's understandable why Saitou would be so reluctant to say "Toshizou" (Hijikata's first name) even if it's not in his presence.
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Title Call by Saitou: Hakuouki Zuisouroku, store bonus drama CD, "Two Toshizou".
(Paper door slides open)
Shinpachi: Hey, Souji! You in there?
Souji: (hides something) Oh, it's you, Shinpachi-san. I'd appreciate it if you kindly knock before you enter.
Shinpachi: Why? Is it inconvenient if I just pop in?
Souji: Well, not that inconvenient really.
Shinpachi: What's this? Is this black cat yours?
Souji: (sigh) Only until the wounds heal. The kids in the neighborhood asked me to. I didn't feel like accepting at first, since I don't like black cats.
Shinpachi: You're saying that now. The feelings will grow with time. Anyway if it's only until the wounds heal, Hijikata-san wouldn't be too harsh on you. So the gender is... male huh. Did you name him?
Souji: Sort of.
Shinpachi: What is it? Since he's a black cat, is it like something like Kuro (black) or Kon (dark blue)?
Shinpachi: Wait... wait, Souji! Of all the names, why this?
Souji: Just look at his impertinent face. And his overly cautious attitude that made such a fuss when bringing him here. Not to mention being so proud and self-centered. Don't these remind you of a certain someone? So I can't think of any name more suitable than this. Although he's much cuter than Hijikata-san.
Shinpachi: That's why... Look, why do you always bring trouble upon yourself?
(Paper door slides open)
Saitou: Souji, if you have the time to chat, why not go to the dojo and practice with the squad members...
Souji: Oh my, Hajime-kun is here too.
Saitou: What is this?
Souji: A cat. Isn't it obvious?
Saitou: I know. Doesn't look like a dog from any angle. I'm asking what's a cat doing here.
Souji: See his wounds? Looks like he's injured when fighting with other cats. I was asked to take care of him until he recovers.
Saitou: This is not your house. If you want to keep an animal, you should first report to Commander and Vice Commander and ask for permission...
Shinpachi: Whoa! The cat jumped onto Saitou's lap. Maybe he likes Saitou.
Saitou: Wa... Wait! I have to give squad members fencing lessons now... Souji, get him off me.
Souji: Just call his name and tell him to get off.
Saitou: I see. What's the cat's name?
Saitou: (Takes a deep breath) Is this one of your bad jokes as usual?
Souji: That's no joke. Right? Toshizou?
Souji: See? He answers to his name right away.
Saitou: That's not the point... (sigh) Do you want me to call Vice Commander's name?
Souji: Even if you say so... the cat only responds to this name. I think you better hurry. You have fencing lessons to give, right?
Saitou: ... To... Toshizou?
Saitou: My... my deepest apologies! As a part of Shinsengumi I did such an impertinent behavior as to address Vice Commander by name... This is all your fault, Souji!
Souji: Well, complaining to me wouldn't change anything.
(A few days later)
(Paper door slides open)
Shinpachi: Hey, Souji. How's Toshizou doing?
Souji: If you're looking for Toshizou, he's there. In Hajime-kun's lap.
Shinpachi: Pretty much cured huh. Has he been sneaking out a lot lately?
Souji: Yep. Looks like he steals our supper when he's hungry. Gen-san is having a headache trying to figure out why fishes often vanish from the kitchen.
Shinpachi: Surprisingly big appetite, huh, Toshizou? And he doesn't hesitate to help himself. Last night he even sneaked into my bed, rolled around like he owned the place. I don't know what to do with him.
Saitou: Your bad. You should let Vice Commander have the bed.
Shinpachi: My what? Why should I give my sleeping space to a cat?
Shinpachi: Wha... What? Don't you hiss at me! Don't tell me you understand what I said!
Saitou: Do you agree with me, Vice Commander? Thank you.
Saitou: Do you want rubbing on the chin? I see. How is this?
Saitou: Are you satisfied? It's my honor.
Shinpachi: Saitou tamed Toshizou completely. Or should I say it's the other way around?
Souji: By the way, you know the newborns under the house that's three houses from here? Every one of their little faces resemble Toshizou. And those kids in the shrine too, all his exact copies.
Shinpachi: So Toshizou is having children here and there? What a womanizer!
Souji: Is someone outside?
Shinpachi: Saitou, hide Toshizou. I'll distract him.
Shinpachi: Oh it's you, Kondou-san. What a surprise. How may I help you? I thought you were reading in your room. Huh? Were we talking about Hijikata-san? Nah, no such thing. Aren't you mistaken? ...You clearly heard about Hijikata-san's sons? You gotta be hearing things! It must be because Kondou-san have been working too hard recently! Aww~ That's no good. Taking a rest when needed is important. See you later!
Shinpachi: Anyway I got it covered... I guess.
Souji: Lousy acting, as usual. I bet Kondou-san still suspects.
Shinpachi: If that's what you think, why didn't you help me?
Souji: No way. I don't want to lie to Kondou-san.
Shinpachi: Oh well. He's pretty blunt. I think he didn't notice. Saitou, you can let Toshizou out of the closet.
Saitou: I'm very sorry, Vice Commander. Are you alright?
Saitou: You're alright. Thank goodness.
Shinpachi: But why is this guy so popular? He's uncongenial and grumpy. That shouldn't make him likable for cat or people. Is it because he looks good at fighting?
Saitou: It's natural to respect strong ones. It's the same for human or animals.
Souji: Maybe that's the case. For example, women are attracted to strong ones such as Hijikata-san and Sano-san.
Shinpachi: Hey hey hey! Hold it! Then how come no woman is attracted to someone strong like me? Isn't that unnatural?
Souji: How come? Now that's... (turn to Saitou), right?
Saitou: Do you really want an answer from us, Shinpachi?
Shinpachi: What's with that look? I don't want your sympathy! Both of you! If there's something you want to say, say it out loud!
Souji: Now, Shinpachi-san is handsome enough below the neck. There's no need for us to tell you if you're attractive or not. Japan is big enough. Someday you will find a woman weird enough to appreciate your charm.
(Footsteps) (Paper door slams open)
Hijikata: Souji!! Shinpachi! Saitou! What lies have you been giving Kondou-san?
Shinpachi: Whoa! Hijikata-san!
Souji: The uncute Toshizou is here.
Hijikata: Excuse me for not being cute! And I didn't give you permission to call me by my first name! That aside. What is going on? You three have been saying me stealing food, sneaking into other's bed, having children here and there, and such unfounded rumors?
Shinpachi: No! That's... umm... Did Kondou-san say something?
Hijikata: Not just "say something"! He said, "I can turn a blind eye to the food part, but not to sneaking into others' beds or having children outside and then forget about them. You must pay a formal visit to their families later on." Do you know how much effort it took me to clear this misunderstanding?
Souji: Ha ha ha! You tried so hard to explain, and he doesn't believe you? Looks like your past record wasn't too well.
Hijikata: Shut it! You three, do you have grudge so deep that you must spread rumors like this? I wouldn't put it pass Souji. But Saitou and Shinpachi, don't you have the ability to distinguish what's right and what's wrong? What the heck is your purpose for doing this, explain right now!
Saitou: No... That's...
Shinpachi: Now... now where should I start? There's a veeeery complicated reason...
Saitou: Vice Commander! Please don't raise your voice!
Hijikata: What are you talking about? Aren't you the ones causing the commotion? (gasp) Huh... What's that? I think I just heard a cat.
Shinpachi: Whoa! Hey, Toshizou! Don't come this way!
Souji: Toshizou, now we're being reprimanded by the uncute Toshizou. So can you stay there for a moment?
Hijikata: Hold on, Souji. What's with this guy?
Souji: What? Not just your personality, your eyes have corrupted as well? As you can see, a black cat.
Hijitata: I know a cat when I see one... Wait, the "Toshizou" that steals food and has children here and there...
Souji: Of course! We were talking about this cat. Who else do you think it is?
Hijikata: Why you! What is the meaning of naming a cat after me! Are you making a fool of me?
Saitou: Vice Commander, Vice Commander and Souji are discussing important matters. Please be quiet.
(in the background)
Souji: I'm not making a fool of you. Hijikata-san, you said you like black, didn't you?
Hijikata: Lier! You knew what my reaction would be like, so you did this on purpose!
Souji: How could I have such foresight? I'm not a certain someone.
Saitou: What is it, Vice Commander? Are you hungry? I'll get you something to eat from the kitchen.
Hijikata: Saitou... You too! Stop calling that cat "Vice Commander"!
Saitou: But... but I can't address Vice Commander with anything else than Vice Commander...
Souji: What do you want us to call him then? Toshizou, and you're mad. Vice Commander, and you're still mad. I think you need to be less self-centered.
Hijikata: Therefore, you shouldn't have named the cat after me in the first place. How would you feel if I keep a dog or mouse named "Souji"? Can't you imagine that?
Souji: Eh? Did Hijikata-san named an animal after me? That's so disgusting. Please stop.
(in the background)
Souji: Did you talk to it like, "Souji~ Souji~ I did this today~"?
Hijikata: I did not talk to animals! I said "if"! IF! And if you feel disgusted, don't you think
I would feel disgusted too?
Saitou: Like we expected, it turned out this way.
Shinpachi: I don't understand if these two like or hate each other. In the end Hijikata-san's argument dropped to Souji's level. Maybe he will actually name an animal "Souji" someday.
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1) Souji is such a meanie! XD *points to his comment of Shinpachi*
2) IMO Kondou-san believed these because the ones in conversation are Shipachi & Saitou. Unlike Souji who's always bad-mouthing about Hijikata, these two are more serious. Hence adding the reliability of the rumors. XD
3) Saito + cat = massive cuteness!